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  • Writer's pictureabikevans

A problem shared is a problem halved…

Where to start with opening the dialogue with your friends and family on your ED and the benefits of sharing your struggles

For ages I kept my ED a secret. Although everyone around me knew that I had a bad relationship with food, I felt too embarrassed to share the truth and scared that if I did people might judge me or think that I was disgusting.

The issue with not sharing your struggles with others is that it leaves you feeling alone and unsupported. For a long time, I would tell my family that I felt depressed and anxious but when they asked why, I just said that I didn’t know. I ended up feeling guilty because they were so desperate to help me, but I knew that they couldn’t because I refused to tell them what was really going on. My secret was causing me to feel alone and unsupported, even though everyone around me was trying unrelentingly to help.

How to tell someone…

It can seem like the most daunting thing in the world to tell your loved ones if you’re struggling with an ED. Particularly if you are struggling with BED or bulimia, because the feeling of shame it comes with can seem more important than asking for help. However, in my experience every time I opened up a little bit more, I felt like a burden was being slowly lifted off me.

Maybe to begin with just choose one person to confide in – whoever you feel the most comfortable with. You are allowed to tell them to keep it a secret for now. It doesn’t have to be a big scary speech for all of your friends and family. Just a simple conversation with someone you know loves you.

My loved ones and I’m sure yours too, don’t want to know what’s wrong so that they can judge you, they want to know so that they can help you start to fix the problem.

Once you have started the conversation, see how it makes you feel. Yes, maybe slightly embarrassed, but more importantly, you won’t feel so alone. When you feel you are ready to talk about it with someone, you can start to plan together how you are going to beat it.

In my case, once I told my sister about my overeating and purging, I knew that when my mood dropped, she understood what was going on. This also helped me to reduce the frequency of these negative habits, as instead of trying to sort it out on my own, I could talk to her and together we could talk about how we would prevent it from becoming a negative cycle.

If you're not quite ready to talk about it out loud

If you don’t feel ready to talk to someone in your life just yet, feel free to drop me a message here or send me an email at I am here to chat to, answer questions based on my own experience or for anything else you feel like you want to get off your chest!

With Love,

A b i x x


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